Writer's Workshop....New Year's Resolutions

I have a confession to make. I think New Year's Eve is totally overrated. Always have, always will. Maybe it's my love of sleep and the fact that I plain don't want to stay up till midnight, especially now that the first trimester exhaustion has set in. Oh, who am I kidding, I've been tired since L was born!

However.

I do love me some New Year's Resolutions. Believe it or not, I usually actually follow them.

And today when Mama Kat, who I also love, used listing your New Year's Resolutions as a writing prompt for her Writer's Workshop, I decided to do just that. I figure if I put them in writing, I'll have an even better chance of sticking with them. Since one of these in particular is going to be extra hard to do, I figure I could use all the help I can get.

1. (aka the above-mentioned difficult one) I will limit my laptop time. Sometimes I get sucked in, between Facebook and e-mail and blogger and stupid Twitter. I realize that Lo is growing up right before my eyes and I'll regret spending time online when I could have been spending it with him. I want to only be on my laptop when he's sleeping. However, I might have to give myself a break if he and Daddy are watching Harry Potter for the 2397583rd time.

2. I will brush L's teeth twice a day, religiously. We usually get around to brushing them once a day, but I admit, not always. (Please don't judge me.) I also need to teach him to spit so that he can use big-boy toothpaste. Last night I was laughing till I cried, watching him swallow then "spit," which was more like blowing raspberries all over my bathroom. I love that kid.

3. I will be more affectionate to B. One of my good friends and her husband got a gem from a marriage counselor that you should greet your spouse at the door enthusiastically. I don't do that. For some reason, ever since giving birth to L, I've been less affectionate and I don't know why. In 2010, preggo and all, this will change.

4. I will practice my yoga/meditation/prayerful quiet time at least once a week. My sister-in-law is lending me her prenatal yoga DVD, so I don't have an excuse. It might cut into that laptop-while-L-is-napping time, but I will do it.

So here's to a happy 2010. And if nothing else, may it be healthier. Namaste!

My Favorite Posts of '09

My IRL friend and blogging buddy Anrazel linked up with Julia this week for something that I thought was a great idea...choosing your favorite posts of 2009. While I really want to post about the craziness that happened at the eye doctor tonight, I would prefer to not publish two totally negative posts in one night. Plus, I just love this idea. Hope you enjoy!

The advantage of emotions is that they lead us astray.

Two years ago today....

5,6, 7,8

Even not-quite-fairy-tales can have happy endings

Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him

Blogging on the job about the job

Dear Gina 1996

And he voted for Obama, too.

Warning: posting an emotional purge

Just when I thought nothing was scarier than asthma...

While I don't really want to relive the last 24 hours, I feel a need to vent. It's been a heck of a ride. So warning...long post ahead.

After I posted yesterday, L woke up, hotter than I've ever felt him. I took his temperature and it was 103.5. He told me he had to go potty, and after he did, he threw up several times. Panic City. I already had an appointment with the pediatrician for later that afternoon, but I called the nurses' line anyway. (I am pretty sure that when they see it's me calling they fight over who is not going to take it. I'm a bit of a frequent flyer on the nurses' line.)

I had given L Advil four hours before, so she instructed me to give him Tylenol and assured me that fevers under 105 aren't dangerous. Mmm-hmmm. That didn't make me feel any better. I gave him his medicine, and got in the bathtub with him. Poor guy was shivering and just miserable.

The rest of the day, he could hardly keep his eyes open and his temperature never got below 101 degrees. I encouraged fluids, but he was so out of it he could only take a sip or two before falling back asleep. He woke up about 30 minutes before our appointment and had spiked 103.7. He was almost unresponsive and quite limp. I gave him Advil, called the nurses' line again (told you) and finally decided to just bundle him up and take him to the doc a few minutes early.

By the time we got to the doctor, his temp was normal. He was diagnosed with bronchitis and given an antibiotic. Either the doctor or the nurse (at this point some of it is fuzzy) told me not to alternate Tylenol and Advil unless his temp was over 102. So after we got home and he was back to 101.5, I ignored my mommy instincts and waited. It took about 4 hours since I had given him the Advil until he hit 102.

He ate dinner fairly well and took his antibiotic, then fell asleep on me. The one positive of his illnesses is the snuggly baby that I get to enjoy.

Unfortunately, two hours later, he spiked 103.6 and vomited (this time all over me and the carpet) again. We gave him Tylenol, put him in the bathtub and again, he insisted I get in with him. As I shivered with him, I realized this was by far, the sickest he's ever been. Even B was starting to get worried at the lack of responsiveness from him, but I told him quite generously that only one of us was allowed to panic at a time. (He obliged.)

I called the emergency exchange, unsure of what to do. It had been six hours since he'd had Advil, but only two since he'd had Tylenol. By the time the nurse called back almost an hour later, L had eaten two popsicles and his temp was down to (down to!) 102. She told me that the baths we'd been giving were actually wrong, as they caused him to shiver and his temp to go back up. (Who knew? They seemed to be helping!) By this time, he was ready for more Advil.

At the same time, I was instant messaging my mom and my friend, who has a son who is prone to high (104+) fevers for days at a time. Thank GOD for moral support.

An hour later, he was down to 101, so I decided to try to get two hours of sleep before he was due for his Tylenol. He was sleeping on one end of the couch, and I curled up on the other end. Two uncomfortable hours later, my alarm went off and I felt L, expecting radiating heat, but was thrilled to find him at a cool 98 degrees!! I gave him Tylenol one more time to be safe and moved him to his bed.

I checked on him a few times over the next seven hours and he stayed cool. This morning, he's back to his sassy self with just a little whining thrown in. Me...I'm exhausted...so much so that I didn't argue his request for a breakfast of chicken nuggets. I see a day of Harry Potter, Dino Squad, Diego, and Fresh Beat Band in my immediate future.

And hopefully, a healthier 2010 around the corner.

Tuesday Tidbits

* After several days of not needing his inhaler, Logan started coughing before bed last night and although he didn't go into a full-blown attack, continued all night. I went in to give him his inhaler this morning and he was burning up. Stupid 101 degree fever ruined our playdate/haircut plans for today. I am thinking the poor guy is just having a hard time kicking the upper respiratory infection from last week. I know they can last over a week...it's just frustrating. As I type, he's sleeping on the couch, and I am hoping the pediatrician can help us out this afternoon. Sick little boys are no fun at all.

* My face is already completely broken out...I keep telling myself that crazy hormones are a good sign. That's really my only way I'd even know I'm pregnant. I did feel a little queasy last night, but I think I was just hungry. My hope for this pregnancy is that I throw up exactly the same number of times I did when I was pregnant with Logan....zero.

* I am officially in need of rehabilitation for my Bejeweled addiction. It's a game on Facebook, and I am warning you, if you haven't started playing yet, don't. Each game only lasts 60 seconds, so it's dangerously easy to say, "Just one more game," about 68 times in an evening.

* I got my safety and emissions testing and new plates for my car yesterday all by my big-girl self. It's sad when your husband tells you he's proud of you for something like that. He's always done it for me, but since I am the one off work this week, I actually became self-sufficient for a few hours.

* I had my first blogger phone call on Sunday, with Little Woman....and it was so much fun. She sounds as cute on the phone as she seems on her blog. I am so jealous that a bunch of my Floridian bloggers are meeting up this week (including her), and I wish I was rich and could buy a ticket and fly down to meet them.

* I am planning on buying a heart rate monitor tomorrow so I can continue spinning for the next nine months. Any suggestions on good ones? Good ones that are under $100, that is? I don't need bells and whistles, just a reliable monitor.

* I am looking so forward to my first ob appointment on the 14th. I don't think B will be able to attend, but I already have a feeling that pregnancy #2 is different than Pregnancy #1. With Lo, I finally had to tell him he didn't have to come to every. single. appointment. This time, it's just a different, more laid-back vibe. And anything laid-back for me is good.

* Happy Tuesday! Namaste!

I should have known....

When I kept crying last week, at a meeting with a parent, when seeing the hundreds of gifts for our Adopt-a-Families, at birthday voice mails I received, and at every single Christmas post I read....

When meat actually sounded good and I ate ham on Christmas Day and the leftovers the next day, but my favorite yogurt made me want to gag....

When I felt so tired that I needed three-hour naps, two days in a row....

That I was PREGNANT!!!

Yep! You read that right! I got my first positive test today!

A week ago yesterday, I took my first test. It was negative, as I knew it would be. It was 3-4 days before my period was even due, at the very least, and it was a dollar store test. However, I was getting ready to go to a spinning class that I was dreading for once and I thought I better check, just in case.(Okay, I admit it, I was totally looking for an excuse not to go exercise.) Sure enough, negative.

I took another one a few days later, but it didn't work right. I had left it in my car and I think I froze it out. I didn't think much of it, and rushed off to work.

On Christmas Eve, I tried another test and it again was negative. Although it was another cheapo, I thought I didn't have a chance and figured we'd try again next month.

Today, I realized that I still hadn't started and by this time, I was officially late. I knew I had one more non-cheap test that I was saving for when I was actually late. (Yes, I realize I need to go to Pregnancy-Test-Aholic Anonymous. Three of these tests were given to me by coworkers!) I took another test, watched it for about a minute, and left it, but something in me told me to put it flat under my sink and check it again later.

And a few hours later, when I did, I saw the faintest second line ever. I turned it to and fro and sure enough, there were two lines.

B was at the grocery store and I threw my cute plans of how to tell him I was pregnant out the window and texted him to bring me another test.

He brought home a digital one and it immediately said "Pregnant"!

So, blogfriends, you've never let me down thus far. Please keep me in your prayers that I have a healthy pregnancy. If all goes well, I'll be due September 1, which is not a good time for a momma who works in a school, but, well, who cares? I'm pregnant!

Christmas Miracles

Christmas was absolutely fantastic for us this year. Both B and I remarked that it was the best one in a long time. Perhaps this was due to the fact that we experienced not one, not two, but three Christmas miracles this year!

First...Logan did not throw up...not once, all. day. long! His asthma seems to be somewhat under control at the moment, and I've been limiting food and drinks that can exacerbate reflux, which I am finding is correlated with asthma.

Second, Logan did not have one meltdown all. day. long! He showed patience while waiting for B to put his toys together, was obedient when I asked him to refrain from his very favorite activity, (running), and besides the few Harry Potter spells he tried to cast on people, was sweet as can be to everyone with whom he came in contact.

Third, and perhaps most exciting, Logan stayed dry all. day. long! Not only did he stay dry, but twice at B's aunt and uncle's house, he actually told me that he had to go potty. Once was even after we had put on his diaper and pajamas. I was floored. We've been working diligently on potty training for months and months now, and I am hoping and praying that we are seeing some progress.

Seriously, it really was a great holiday. Lo had a blast opening his gifts. He kept saying, "Santa sure did bring me a lot of presents," and alternating "Oh my GOSH!" and "Oh, oh, oh!" when he opened something especially exciting. I wish I would have taken more still shots, but we videotaped the entire opening process.

B generously let me take a three-hour nap on Christmas afternoon since I wasn't feeling well. (Does an uninterrupted three-hour nap for a mommy count as a fourth miracle?)

Oh, and after 824 relatives commented that Lo would look even cuter with a haircut, B finally caved and gave his blessing for me to cut his hair. He doesn't normally put his foot down on anything, so I was letting it go for a while. I do love the long hair look on boys, but my poor little man is starting to look a little sheepdog-esque. I'll post before and after pics on Tuesday!

What Christmas miracles did YOU experience?

....and to all a good night!

We had a fabulous Christmas Eve celebration with my mom, her husband, B's dad, and his wife. Logan made out like a bandit...remote control fire truck, remote control school bus, Gator Golf, a train set, and a new Sandra Boynton book (for those of you mommies or mommies-to-be, I highly recommend her books...perfectly silly for the littles).









He also puked from post-running coughing, but let's focus on the positive, shall we? Fortunately, or unfortunately, he is getting so good at throwing up, poor guy. As long as my mommy instinct kicks in and I hustle him to the bathroom, he pukes right in the toilet, washes his face, brushes his teeth, and promptly asks for a cookie. Not a tear in sight.

On a happier note, we made some delicious homemade pizzas, including a snowman pizza suggested by my blog-turned-IRL friend Elizabeth. He was less than impressed, but I had so much fun making it (and eating it) that it was worth it. (I modified the recipe a bit as I am not a fan of white sauce.)



My mom, after telling me my trip to LA was my birthday/Christmas present, completely spoiled me and bought me this book and a very "me" tee emblazoned with "Peace is powerful" tucked inside this purse (in green). The tee sparked some grumbling from her extraordinarily conservative husband and a "God forbid people actually get along" comment from me, but I'm happy to report that we both laughed and moved away from a political debate.


We pigged out on a bunch of goodies given to me by my students (gotta love working in an elementary school) and after they took off, L set out milk and cookies for Santa, and then insisted that Santa get a glass of Sierra Mist as well. My theory is that L absolutely loves to get a special treat of soda, and thought that was the best gift he could give Saint Nick.

Now the kitchen has been cleaned, the stockings have been stuffed, and the last L's big gifts that I was procrastinating wrapping, namely this and this are under the tree.

I am hoping for a Christmas miracle...that this sinus congestion/sore throat/sneezing/headache combination that has hit me goes away, or at least that L sleeps in past 8 am tomorrow.

Merry Christmas, blogfriends! I wish you warm fuzzies, peaceful hearts, and seeing the magic of Christmas like L does.

Namaste!

He's got a point, there.

The following conversation took place between L and me this morning:

L: sniffle, sniffle

Me: Hey, L, sounds like you need to blow your nose.

L: No, I'll just rub it with my hand.

Me: Oh, no, buddy, that's yucky.

L (in a somewhat condescending tone): No, mommy, poop is yucky.

Sometimes, it's difficult to argue with a two-year-old's logic.

You're a mean one, Ms. Grinch....

On Monday, after our night from hell, my eye was absolutely killing me. I've had these same disposable toric (weighted for astigmatism) contact lenses for ten months now, and I hate them. They always seem to be bothering me, especially my left eye. However, I chalked it up to a night of two hours of sleep and suffered through the day.

When I got home, I immediately took out my contacts, but the pain didn't get any better. So I wore my Coke-bottle glasses to work on Tuesday, thinking that would alleviate the problem. No such luck...as the day went on, I became very sensitive to light and started diagnosing myself with a variety of eye issues, from a scratched cornea to a detached retina to eye cancer.

And then, one of the teacher aides came running to find me to tell me that one of the students with whom I work very closely had pink eye.

I had never had pink eye before, and since by this time my eye was swollen and red, I felt much better about the fate of my eye (and my future ability to go without my hideous glasses).

I made an appointment with my eye doctor for the next day, and merrily went about my day.

Yesterday, my eye had actually been feeling much better, which was surprising, considering by the time I went to bed the night before, even the light from my laptop was excruciating. However, when I left the house to go to the doctor, even the light from the completely overcast sky made me wince.

But once I got into the examination room, even the doctor shining those irritatingly bright lights directly into my eye didn't bother me a bit. I honestly thought I was losing it.

He seemed confused, and then asked if he minded if he dilated my eyes to take a look at the nerve in the back of my eye, which according to him, looked "off." He asked if I had been having headaches.

And the panic set in. My grandmother had a detached retina and ended up going blind. My grandfather had two brain tumors. I immediately diagnosed myself with both conditions.

The doc just laughed, as doctors often do with me.

After they took the photos of my eye, the receptionist who was a complete bitch last time I was at the doctor outdid herself.

She brought the photos up on the computer screen and began, "These were your eyes back in February, and these are your eyes today."

Suddenly, she stopped short, immediately closed out the screen, and said, "Ohh...I'll just have the doctor discuss this with you," and quickly walked out.

At that point, I couldn't decide if I felt more like crying or vomiting. I honestly thought about hacking into the computer to see my photos. I figured that I had something terribly wrong which is what had caused my ongoing left-contact issues.

Twenty long and torturous minutes later, the doc came in and looked at the screen.

Diagnosis: Nothing wrong with my nerve....and the pain is from an allergic reaction.

Suggestions on what to do when I see Ms. Grinch in a week?

Wordless Wednesday...our trip to the ER

So sad...right? Luckily, he is doing much better. The Prednisone and around-the-clock inhaler treatments seem to be kicking in. Hopefully the pediatric pulmonologist who we are going to see next week will give us even more information.

Merry Christmas Eve-Eve!

My Birthday Giveaway Winner!

I know, I know....it's getting late. I am pushing this giveaway winner post. But considering that we had to take L to the ER last night for his worst asthma attack yet and the fact that I am pretty sure I have my first ever bout of pinkeye, I think I am actually doing darn good. But more on both of those later.

Onto the giveaway.

I decided to do this old school style....names on strips of paper. (Sorry about the photo quality...these were taken on my cell phone, purely because I didn't feel like getting off the couch. At least I'm honest.)



Then, I had Logan take one, and I took a photo of him holding it.

Well, I tried. But snapping a photo of a child standing still enough to read a name on a piece of paper, when said child is on Prednisone, is not easy. You try it.

I gave it my best effort. Really I did.

And then I gave up....and just took a close-up of the winner's name.

But before I announce it, I have to tell you something important. As you may have read on my blog, the winner and I do seem to have a connection. Although we've never actually met IRL, we have formed a texting-Facebook-Christmas card connection outside of the blogosphere. And I adore her. But I did not cheat.

I swear.

I didn't even pick the name. L did.

And since, as the winner often states in her comments on my posts about L, that L could be her kid because of all the weird quirks they share, including the way they sat in lawn chairs at 2 years old, I shouldn't be surprised that out of all 22 names, he picked her.

Congrats, Brittany! I will get your package out to you soon. Let me know if you love all the goodies as much as I do. Considering how similar we are, I bet they'll soon be your favorite things, too!

The first post in which I drop the f-bomb and have every right to do so.

The following is an account of my night last night. No exaggerations have been made for dramatic effect.

9:00 pm: Logan starts coughing. We give him his inhaler (4th night in a row), he settles down, and falls fast asleep.

10:00 pm: I fall asleep, looking oh-so- forward to a good night's sleep after a ridiculously hectic weekend.


11:00 am: Logan starts coughing again, although inconsistently.


12:00 am: I am still being awakened every so often by a inconsistent cough.


2:00 am: I hear Logan choking, gasping. I jump out of bed, run across the hall to his room, leaving my still-awake and watching-tv husband in bed (seriously, why did God only give us women the super-human eagle ears and motherly instinct??). Logan is in full-blown asthma attack mode. We attempt to give him a nebulizer treatment, and he decides he is petrified of the scary, noisy nebulizer. Brian and I are both at our wit's (wits'?) end (ends?) and end up getting into a huge argument.


3:00 am: Logan is still coughing...badly. I don't know what to do. Did he get any albuterol from that treatment? If so, how much?? Wearily, I call the exchange and speak to a sweet nurse, who immediately calmed me down and coached me through three inhaler treatments, back to back.


3:50 am: Logan finally stops coughing. Thank. GOD.

3:55 am: I realize that Logan has spiked a fever. I take his temperature to find out that he is running 101 degrees. Fuck.

4:10 am: The nice nurse calls back to check on Lo's status and I describe his state. Lo is getting very tired, and beginning to cough again. She explains what to do and I hang up.

5:00 am: Logan is still coughing, still inconsistently. I am supposed to be waiting to give him another treatment. Since by this time B has decided to stay home and I am going to work (solely due to the fact that I am out of sick days), I go to sleep on the couch for two hours.

5:50 am: Just as I finally start to really sleep, I awake to hear Lo hacking, hacking, hacking. Seriously? I go back into the bedroom to find him at his worst state yet. I call the exchange back, in pure panic mode.

6:15 am: The same sweet nurse (God love her) calls me back, immediately calms me down, and decides Logan needs Prednisone. Sheesh. She calls it out and tells me to give Logan yet another breathing treatment.

6:30 am: In a zombie-like state, I get into the shower. I guiltily enjoy not hearing Logan's cough and for fifteen straight minutes, pretend like he's not coughing at all. I find it very hard to think positively and to remind myself that things could be worse.

6:45 am: I get out of the shower and B goes to the 24 hour Walgreens to get Logan's medicine and to stop to get us fast food and coffee a very healthy breakfast. I consider calling that sweet nurse back to see if she can give me the hookup on a caffeine and/or Xanax IV.

8:00 am: I reluctantly leave my sick little man and go to work. I call his pediatrician and inform them of last night's events. I cry.

And here, I sit, at work, begging for suggestions, for "I've-been-there-your-family-are-not-freaks-for-having-all-these-medical-issues" supportive stories, for anything but comments stating that we are always sick. Because I know that. And I keep thinking it. And I am sad. And frustrated. And beyond exhausted. And my contact is killing me, which in the grand scheme of things doesn't matter one teeny bit, but is just making things worse.

Sorry to be so negative today. But hey, maybe it will give you perspective on your life today. Because I am having a heck of a time finding it here.

Behavior modification at its finest.

I have noticed lately that L has been extra wild at home; borderline aggressive. I have also noticed that when I pick him up from school, he seems out of control. Granted, a couple other little boys do too, but it had been bothering me a bit.

I called his teacher the other day and asked her opinion on his increased aggressiveness. Slowly, she agreed that yes, indeed, his behavior had worsened a bit.

Before she could continue, I rambled, "Oh, I just know it's the Singulair! I called the doctor about it and they swear there are no side effects, but a few other moms have agreed with me about this too, and I want to take him off of it, but when I just didn't give him one dose, he had a major asthma attack the next day, and, oh, I just don't know what to do!"

When I finally stopped to take a breath, she gently responded, "Um, I really don't know that it is just the medicine. Unfortunately, we have a couple of friends in the room who are instigating this behavior and a few other little boys like L seem to be feeding off of it. "

We went on to discuss negative peer models and once I told her that I deal with that at my job too, she loosened up even more. She explained that if she put the main culprit in "uh-oh time" every single time, he'd never get to participate in the class activities at all, and she'd never get to teach.

I told her that she was preaching to the choir and I pondered on the weirdness of being on this side of things as the parent instead of the educator.

I decided to have a heart-to-heart with L. I sat him down and asked him about a student in particular who I happen to know has been an instigator in his room in the past. He told me that indeed, this child hits and kicks "all duh time."

And at that moment, I kid you not, divine intervention kicked in. I heard the words coming out of my mouth without any knowledge from where they came.

"You know, Lo, it sounds to me like he acts just like Voldemort. (For those of you non-Harry Potter fans, Voldemort is the villian in the movies.) You don't want to act like Voldemort, do you? "

"Noooo," L answered, quite seriously.

"Well, I think you need to act like Harry Potter at school. You need to be the good guy. You need to be gentle, and kind, and use nice words and nice hands!"

"Yeah!" L chimed in. "He is just like Voldemort and I make good choices like Harry Potter!!"

When I brought him to school today, I told his teacher about my epiphany and encouraged her to bring Harry Potter into the mix too. She loved the idea and told me she'd try it.



I called a few minutes ago at lunch time to see how he was feeling (due to the fact that he had yet another middle-of-the-night asthma attack last night) and as an afterthought, asked about his behavior.

His teacher's response? His behavior had markedly improved and the one time he did get too rough with a friend, he was extremely remorseful, crying big tears and asking for a hug.

I swear, if this works, I'll be joining the Harry Potter Fan Club. Heck, I'll become the president.

"The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray." -O. Wilde

Mama Kat had a great prompt this week on her Writer's Workshop, asking us to describe "the cross that we bear." She suggested we talk about the personality trait that works both for and against us, and that we still embrace. Easy!

It should come as no surprise to you (or anyone who has met me, even briefly) that lately, my kid has been driving me cuh-razy. When he gets mad, he gets so mad that he hits me. When he's sad, he sobs....until, too often, he pukes. When he's happy, he's almost manic. He's just so darn emotional.


He's so me.


The other day I was explaining this revelation to B, saying, "When I was a kid, I was pretty chaotic too."


B's response..."When you were a kid, huh?"

All I could do was laugh.

Today, our school counselor told me that she told a parent that the Kleenex box in the conference room was empty because I've been coming to a lot of meetings lately. It's true. When the parents cry, I cry. When I am pregnant, I bawl. I get so angry at certain conservative radio talk show hosts that I've been known to yell back at the radio.

The upside is that I get to feel butterflies in my stomach when I think of anything remotely exciting. I smile big cheesy grins when I'm happy. When I laugh, everyone in my hallway at work can hear me.

I feel. I'm passionate. Everything is a huge deal to me. While I take offense to someone calling me a drama queen, I know I'm dramatic. (Yes, there's a huge difference, thankyouverymuch.)


I got an e-mail from a parent of one of "my kids" this week telling me that for the first time ever, his first-grade daughter told him a story (The Three Bears, no less) and it was the most she's ever said to him at once. My heart absolutely sang with joy.

It's scary because manic depression does run in my family and it's one of my greatest fears. I've talked to several counselors about it and they all agree that I am not bipolar. However, I am certain that those genes play a part in my big emotions.


I read an article in this month's Parents magazine that put a few of my fears to rest. It explained that kids like L, and well, me, "live their life big, and their passion means they'll go out into the world with determination and enthusiasm."

Remind me of this the next time I post about having to deal with a meltdown.

Mine or L's.

Not-Quite Wordless Wednesday...my homemade Christmas gifts!

I told you they weren't exactly a masterpiece, but I think they turned out pretty cute!

(I also made a bunch of red and green ones)

...and for my spin instructor...Santa, spinning! Silly, I know, but she seemed to like it!

I also made cute gator (our school mascot) ornaments for our principal and assistant principal. However, I got up at 4:30 am to go to spinning class after L had a middle-of-the-night asthma attack, and I'm too tired to finish them, take photos of them, and/or post them. I'm happy to report that I'm very pleased with them, though!

Happy Hump Day!

Waffin' Baby

I would post tonight, but my laptop has been taken hostage.

By my two-year-old.

He's obsessed with this video.

I've heard, "Mommy! Waffin' baby, pwease!" more times than I wish to count.

Hopefully he'll decide that The Fresh Beat Band is super entertaining again tomorrow. Wow. I never thought I'd say that...

The Not Me! post that may cause you to un-follow me

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


I have NOT waited until 10 pm to write my Not Me! Monday post because of the first thing I did NOT do. I have NOT been thinking about it all day and trying to get over the embarrassment of it....

I did NOT....

Um.

Okay.

I did NOT give Logan a super-fast bath after he coughed till he threw up upon awakening from his nap yesterday. (I also did NOT let him eat w-a-y too much at lunch, ignoring that whole "I swear he still has reflux" idea.) I did NOT wash his hair way too fast in order to get to our family Christmas party in time for Santa to arrive. I did NOT notice that I hadn't...uh...gotten all the vomit as we were walking out the door. And I certainly did NOT wash his hair with soapy water with my hands and then try to put a little product in it to cover up the disgustiness. You guys, come on. That. Is. Disgusting. Even if L does have the strongest gag reflex in the world which causes him to puke on average, once a week, I couldn't just ignore it like that.

(And we did NOT walk into the Christmas party as Santa was entering. So I still do NOT think it was a good idea. Puh-lease.)

I did NOT just choose to make Ghirardelli brownies for our family Christmas party on Saturday without asking my mother-in-law what I should bring. Duh. I obviously read the e-mail stating that we should let her know what we were bringing and I am always courteous. So when we walked in, and she had already made two batches of brownies, I was NOT a little embarrassed. I also did NOT take just about an entire pan of brownies home with me that night. Ahem.

I did NOT let my perfectionism get the best of me and ruin one of my handmade Christmas presents tonight when I just couldn't let well enough alone. I did NOT then try to re-do it and fail miserably. When I mused aloud about fixing the teeny-tiniest part on another gift I am making for someone else, B did NOT have to give me "the look" and tell me not to ruin it. Of course I would NOT do something ridiculous like that. NOT me!

It's NOT too late....what have you NOT been doing lately? C'mon, tell me. If you tried to wash puke out of your kid's hair without actually putting him in the tub, I won't judge you. I mean, not that I have ever done anything like that myself or anything.

"Expecto Patronum!"

You know your two-year-old watches too much Harry Potter when:

*he can pronounce spells from the movie better than you can

*he explains Harry Potter to his teenage cousin so well that she says that she understands the movie without ever seeing it

*he not only sleeps to songs from Harry Potter but can explain what exactly is going on in the movie during any given song

*he turns everything....a Sharpie, a straw, a eyeshadow brush...into a wand

*he gets embarrassed when you catch him gazing at a photo of his crush, Hermione, and then says, "Mommy, she's just so pretty."

....and last, but certainly not least.....

*he remarks, "Santa looks just like Dumbledore!"

100!

I entered the world of blogging on my myspace account right before I got pregnant. I loved writing, venting, and of course, finding a new way to socialize. When B had had a long day at work on the phone, he just wanted some peace and quiet. When I had had a long day at work, I liked to recharge by telling him all about my day. While the introvert-extrovert marriage has its pros, the end-of-the-day needs are not included in that list. So I discovered that I could tell my stories online, and if I was lucky, someone like Anrazel or Laura would reply.

Then, I found Jodie's blog when my best friend Em sent me there to check out some photos of her family that Jodie had taken.

Through Jodie's blog, I found the real blogosphere, and I promptly fell in love.

I signed up for google reader and stalked blogs quietly for a few months. I remember being nervous to turn my myspace blog into a big-girl blog over on blogger. I knew I wasn't nearly as talented at writing as some of the blogs that I followed. I certainly had no photography talent to supplement my posts. What if no one followed me? What if I sucked at blogging?

I waited until I came up with my perfect blog name, and then tested the waters. It was then that I realized that I wasn't in it for the followers. I was in it to document my life as a mommy, as a wife, as a speech-language pathologist. I was in it to find more blogs that could make me giggle or put things into perspective after a shitty day at work. I loved being inspired by the amazing writers out there.

I never thought I'd be able to ask for advice on something...anything...and get it.

I never thought I'd post about my crappy day, feel a little better, and then get supportive comments from people, and feel completely better.

I never thought I'd make real friends to whom I would send Christmas cards, text at 6 am, tell secrets that I couldn't share with anyone else, wonder about even when I wasn't reading their blogs, and talk about to my IRL friends and family.

Don't get me wrong. Every single time I got a new follower, I'd get a thrill. And this week, when I got my 100th follower, I was ec. stat. ic. Never in a million years did I think my followers would be in the triple digits. Really. Never.

I am so thankful for everything the blogosphere and more importantly, those of you who read my silly little blog about my silly little life have given me.

I am going to open up my giveaway to anyone who is a follower as of right now. So if you've joined my followers since I posted the giveaway and want in for my favorite Avon goods, let me know.

And if you've already been a follower friend and become a huge part of my life and have done more for me than you probably ever knew, know that today, I am truly grateful for you.

In the truest sense of the word....namaste.

If you're happy and you know it....

As if my girl Brittany, over at Living in the Moment, doesn't make me smile enough, she gave me the Happy 101 award today. You know you've made a connection with someone when you find yourself chatting about her at dinner with friends, like I did last night. Brittany and I are constantly finding bizarre similarities between the two of us and I consider her a kindred spirit. Thanks, Britt!

This award, meant to be gifted to bloggers who make you smile, has two requirements.

1. List 10 things that make you happy

2. List 10 bloggers who brighten your day.



10 Things That Make Me Happy:


1. My new laptop!!! I got it last night!! My old one died after many illnesses and I'll never again buy another Dell. I really wanted a fancy-dancy camera to start learning how to take photos, but since our money tree in the backyard hasn't bloomed yet this year, I had to choose a camera or a laptop, and the laptop won out. I'd been blogging, facebooking, and e-mailing from B's desktop in our basement, which is so cold that I had to wear my winter coat while shivering and typing. But that doesn't matter anymore, because I am the proud owner of a new laptop!


2. My new discovery of Chobani Greek Yogurt. I've become even more vegetarian as of late, and it's hard to find good sources of protein. My spinning instructor suggested Chobani, and it is awesome. It has 15 grams of protein and no high-fructose corn syrup. Logan doesn't like yogurt, and even he will eat this stuff. I have to use all possible self-control not to lick the container when I've spooned out as much as humanely possible.


3. Hearing my little man sing Christmas carols. Granted, "Jingle Bells" is limited to "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells all the way...hey!" And Rudolph goes something like, "Wudoff a wed-nose waindee-uh, had a shiny nose..." but that makes it all the more adorable.


4. The fact that the littlest steps of progress are huge for my students. Just last week, one of my little girls was very angry during a therapy session and yelled, "I'm mad! I want to go back to class and sit on the green carpet!" Just last year, she would have said (on her best day), "Susie mad. Go class." (Susie is not her real name.) It's nice to be able to see past a child screaming in my face and realize that she is using perfect sentence structure! Hooray!!


5. The lessons that Logan teaches me. I was dropping him off at preschool, and we were running late as always. I was a bit frustrated, hurrying to get him inside. I turned around to see him dancing with his hands in the air, looking up with glee and awe at the first snow of our city falling down around him. It makes me happy when he reminds me to slow down and enjoy the beauty of what I miss when I'm in a rush.


6. Sushi, wine, and interesting conversations like I had last night with some IRL friends and fellow bloggers, Anrazel and Toni. We were out celebrating Laura's birthday and it was so nice to enjoy some delicious sushi, wine, and deep conversations about blogging, reincarnation, human connections, and life in general.


7. This is a bit embarrassing to admit, but it makes me really happy when my US Weekly arrives in the mail every week. It's brainless and trashy and I always get excited when I see the hot story on the cover. So sue me.


8. My Post-it page markers. Last year, our school gave us a cute little Post-it holder with different sizes and colors of Post-its and I swear they are helping me stay employed. My lack of organization makes things difficult at my job, but I use these as a color-coding system on my files of students I am testing. Red means that I still need to finish the testing and yellow means they are finished. It makes me happy to know that everything is right in front of me and I'm not forgetting anything.


9. Christmas lights. I find myself driving really, really s-l-o-w-l-y through my subdivision and taking the scenic route this time of year. I love any Christmas light displays, even the not-so-hot ones, because any effort is better than no effort. The twinkling lights give me warm fuzzies every single time I see them.


10. Sharpie pens. Best invention ever. I used to swear by Ultra Fine tip Sharpies until the Sharpie pens came out. To be honest, I love all things Sharpie, but these are genius.


And the ten bloggers who brighten my day (this was darn near impossible, considering every blogger I read brightens my day...really!):


The three girls I mentioned in this post: Laura, Anna, and Toni;


My IRL spinning buddy who makes me smile every Saturday during class which is no small feat in The World's Most Intense Spin Class: Jillian

The girl who always tags me in fun stuff, writes posts from which I always learn new things or perspectives, and always leaves me fun comments: Karen

Someone who is looking for positivity and inspires me with her THREE littles, two of which are twins and almost exactly L's age: Momlissa

The girl who always makes me giggle with both her posts and comments: Whitney


Quite possibly the cutest blogger with the cutest little man with the cutest name who is so stinkin' cute I'd hate her if I didn't love her: Abby


A blogger who writes creative posts AND posts gorgeous photos for me to drool over, and understands the little boy craziness: Katherine

A woman who always makes me wonder just how she does it all: Michelle

It's almost Friday, folks! That brightens my day, too. Hope you find things that make you extra happy this weekend. Namaste!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...even in the blogosphere!

One of my favorite bloggers, Karen, tagged me in this Christmas meme. I'm a sucker for all things Christmas, and all things meme-esque, so of course, I was game!

1. Have you started your Christmas shopping?

Yep! I'm almost finished. I just have to get something for my brother and sister-in-law, but they are easy...they always want gift cards. Oh, and I need to print pictures of Logan for all the grandparents. I probably should get on that.



2. Tell me about one of your special traditions.

Ever since I was a little girl, we have had Christmas Day with my family at my parents' house. Now that they are divorced, I still insist on going to my dad's house that day. It is just not Christmas if I don't go there. However, the past two years, my family has battled the stomach flu on Christmas Day, so I am asking Santa for good health this year!



3. When do you put up your Tree?

As soon as B will let me! :) He likes to wait until after Thanksgiving, but I prefer the weekend before. I won this year. There's such a short time between Thanksgiving and Christmas...I like to get it up earlier so that I can enjoy it longer.



4. Are you a Black Friday shopper?

I won't get into my feelings on Black Friday again because I know it makes some of my favorite bloggers angry. I went last year, and didn't go this year. However, there is a great shopping center near my house and I heard (after the fact) that it was not busy and the NY&CO store there had every.single.item. in their store half off. If that is the case next year, I might have to give Black Friday shopping one more try next year.




5. Do you Travel at Christmas or Stay home?

We go to my dad's house in the afternoon, which is only about 15 minutes from my house, and then to B's crazy family's house in the evening, which is about 20 minutes from my dad's. So although we don't stay home, it probably isn't really traveling.



6. What is your funniest Christmas memory?

When my brother was about five or six, he opened a pair of camouflage pajamas from our aunt and uncle. Apparently, they were not what he was expecting and he was pissed. He threw them down and ran out of the room, crying. If that isn't funny enough, they ended up being his favorite pajamas. My mom had a hard time getting them off of him to wash them. True story.




7. What is your favorite Christmas Movie of all time?

Elf. No movie makes me laugh as hard as that one.


8. Do you do your own Christmas baking? What’s your favorite treat?

Nope. When I was younger, I used to bake fig cookies with my grandma every year (not to be confused with Fig Newtons, which are ...blech...disgusting. I just don't have it in me to continue that tradition since she passed away. Plus, as I may have mentioned one or 37 times on my blog, cooking is not my favorite activity, and that includes baking. My favorite treat is those chewy peppermint candies and anything involving dark chocolate and/or mint.



9. Fake or Real Tree?

Fake. We always had a real one growing up and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't want to deal with the mess now. Or the allergies. I like our fake tree. I do miss the smell of a real one, though.




10. What day does the actual panic set in to get it all done?

I try to start everything WAY early because a panicky Gina is not a pretty Gina.




11. Are you still wrapping presents on Christmas Eve?

Not usually. No promises on this year, though. I might wait and wrap Lo's presents that night.



12. What is your favorite family fun time at Christmas?

B's family party on Christmas night is really fun. The wine is flowing, everyone is full of Christmas cheer, the wine is flowing, I get to see fun people who I don't often get to see, and the wine is flowing.

13. What Christmas craft do you like the best?


My coworker gifts are turning out awfully cute. I might have to do something similar every year. I'll post pictures soon.



14. Christmas music? Yes or No, and if yes, what is your favorite song?


I love all Christmas songs. I prefer the happy ones, not the "I-miss-you-because-you-died-or-left-me-and-it's-Christmas," but I'll take what I can get. I love the classic Christmas music, like Judy Garland and Bing Crosby, but I also love the newer tunes, especially Bare Naked Ladies. I can't say that I have a favorite, but I love Silver Bells, Carol of the Bells, Frosty, Oh Holy Night, Santa Baby, Sleigh Ride, Jingle Bell Rock...yeah, basically all of them.



15. When do you plan to finish all your shopping?

Hopefully this weekend!



Do you want to play along?Just simply copy and paste the questions into your blog, and then answer them.



Then tag 5 or more of your favorite blogs, and leave them a comment telling them they’ve been tagged.

When you post on your blog, please spread some Christmas Cheer, and leave a link back to the blogger who started the meme: Heather, at Top 10 Christmas And I'm tagging....everyone! I would love to read all of your answers. Please, hook up a Christmas-loving blog-sister!




And if you are not the Christmas-loving meme type, at least go here to read about an awesome idea out and about in the blogosphere today. Namaste!

update on the little man

Just a quick update: we went to see the doctor today who examined Lo and agreed with me that he indeed has asthma. We came home with a nebulizer and a prescription for albuterol. While part of me is not happy about this, another part is relieved that the next time he has an attack, I can just hook that puppy up and not feel so helpless.

A friend of mine gave me some information today on increased Vitamin D and its positive effects on asthma. I am now researching that in hopes that we can find something so that we won't have to use the nebulizer for a while. So far what I'm learning is that the recommended daily dose of Vitamin D is 800 mg for a 4 year old. Lo gets 600 mg in his daily multivitamin and with all the dairy he gets, I'm pretty sure he gets more than what is recommended for a kiddo twice his age. I can't imagine he has a deficiency...anyone know anything about this? If so, let me know!

Happy Monday to you all!

Not Me! Monday...the Christmas decorations edition

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


I did NOT work for hours trying to get the ribbon on my Christmas tree just right. First of all, I'd get it right the first time. I'm perfectly creative like that. And if I didn't, I certainly wouldn't put hours of work into something like ribbon. But...ahem...if I did, I would NOT call my mom and ask her to fix it and make it look like the ribbon on her tree. I am far too old for that.


(I'm also NOT very happy with her handiwork...and I do NOT love the way the snowflake ribbon goes well with the snowflake tree topper. That's just silly.)


I did NOT drag my husband to Hobby Lobby in search of the perfect stockings and stocking holders last week. He had just worked out and was starving and I would never torture him like that. We did NOT look for over 30 minutes until we found three different, yet similar, snowman stockings. I am NOT already wondering what we'll do when we have another child.

When painting my handmade gifts for my coworkers, I did NOT get paint on our white lampshade. My husband had NOT just said that me working in our living room made me nervous and he was tempted to put towels around me. I am NOT an accident waiting to happen, especially when paint is involved. NOT me!



I did NOT try to hurry and sneakily clean it up with a Clorox wipe before he saw it. That is childish and irresponsible. I did NOT just make it worse by smearing the paint. And I did NOT end up crying and turning the lampshade around. I do NOT wonder how my husband puts up with me sometimes.


What have you NOT been up to this week?

Right now....

Right now....I don't feel quite rested, but I am at least not delirious. This was not the case 3 hours ago as I had been up for five hours battling Logan's asthma attack.

Right now....I am calm and composed. In the middle of the night, when Logan had been constantly coughing for four hours straight (with no breaks longer than 27 seconds) and nothing was working, I could not be described as calm, nor composed. After two inhaler puffs, Robitussin CF, and 30 minutes in a steamy shower did nothing but make Logan vomit, I. was. a. wreck. B was the only reason I didn't go into a full-blown panic attack.

Right now....I am so grateful for many things. One of those is the wonderful nurse who gave me specific instructions on how many puffs I could give Logan (which was about 12 more than I ever imagined would be safe) and exactly the timing in which to administer them. I wish I would have remembered to tell the nurse how wonderful she was when we hung up at 6 am, after she called back for the third time to check on us.

Right now...nothing in this world could convince me that mother's instinct does not exist. If I hadn't fought to get Logan an inhaler a few months ago, we would have ended up in the ER last night. Considering the nurse warned me that we were in the "Red Zone" even after he had a few doses of his inhaler earlier that day, I don't want to imagine how scary things could have been had we not had the inhaler on hand.

Right now...I am requesting a substitute for tomorrow so that I can observe Logan and his lingering asthmatic cough and take him to his doctor. I'm hoping we'll return home with a clean bill of health...and a nebulizer. We'd appreciate any prayers and positive thoughts you could send our way!

The little things.

This week, I attended a meeting at which we had to tell a mother that her little girl was mentally retarded. Sad does not begin to describe it. I cried along with the mother and tried desperately to highlight her strengths while reporting on the testing I had done.

It made me realize that as much as I complain about Logan's health issues, acid reflux, asthma, and an annoying tendency to vomit more than the average bear are truly nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Good thing, because he has cold #276 this year. Apparently, it's going around his class and he came down with a snotty nose, fever, and cough on Thursday. Evidently, he's already on the mend, since as I type this, he is literally running laps around the house. And because it's not a post about Logan's illnesses unless I discuss puke, I'd like to announce that apparently he has gotten the hang of vomiting in the toilet. Who knew someone with a puke phobia would ever be excited about anything involving throw up? It's the little things, folks.

Another little thing that is SUCH a big thing to me is that I found the best Christmas gift ever for Lo. Last week, I went to Barnes and Noble in search of a Harry Potter picture book. It probably won't come as a big surprise that Harry Potter is not really marketed to two year olds. However, the woman who works at B and N is my new heroine. She found a 90+ page poster book chock-full of Harry Potter pictures for my little man. I am literally more excited to give him this than the Spiderman power quad and basketball hoop put together. Luckily, we have a family Christmas party next Sunday to which Santa will come, and I think Logan might get it there. Not only am I that excited to give it to him, it will keep him busy at the party.

And one more little thing: I finally came up with an idea of what to give to my coworkers for Christmas this year. I have to give between 15 and 20 gifts on my limited budget, and it's been stressing me out...until now! Since at least one of my coworkers reads my blog, I don't want to ruin the surprise what is sure to be a masterpiece *cough*sarcasm*cough* but I will say it involves my first attempt at painting on glass. So if I'm not visible around the blogosphere between now and the last day of school, you can probably be sure that I'm crying over my not-so-perfect handmade gifts. If they do turn out well, however, I'll take pictures and post them soon. Don't hold your breath. Just sayin.

Here's hoping you too find joy in the little things. Namaste!