Sweet Dreams in 2012

Happy New Year's Eve! The goal for 2012 is to finally relax. If you've followed my blog for long, you know that 2011 has brought a bit of a sleep drought around these parts. Relaxation in general has been hard to come by.

Luckily, I have a great role model in L. When in doubt, I'll go to him for advice...



Namaste.

A Bloggy Review

One of Mama Kat's Writing Prompts for today was to pick a favorite post from each month of 2011. WAIT...before you skip this post, hang on one second. I have lots of new followers and there are some posts that I love, that really tell a lot about me. If you started following this year, keep reading. I included synopses so you can see if any of them pique your interest. Do me a big favor and let me know if you read any of them?

In January, I wrote about one of my favorite speech therapy moments that reminds me why I do what I do. Go here to read "Three Little Sounds, One Huge Difference."

In February, I wrote a post that, looking back on it, makes me a little guilty, seeing how far I've fallen off the workout wagon. But remembering the most psycho trainer ever makes me laugh. Go here to read "Miss Nelson, The Bodybuilder."

In March, I wrote my very favorite post about my all-time favorite interaction between two kids at school. Go here to read "The Seven Sweetest Words."

In April, I talked about my least favorite part of my job. And although I hate the topic of standardized testing, I'm determined to get the word out there again and possibly shock you all with the ridiculousness of it. Go here to read "It's Time Again for My Annual Academically-Based Rant."

In May, I discussed a lesson I taught L with a little help from a popular children's board game. Go here to read "Thank You, Milton Bradley."

In June, I wrote a tribute to the child who inspires me most. I write a lot about L, but this is my favorite because I think I finally articulated my feelings about him as they really are. Go here to read "A Tribute to L."

In July, I got to show off some awesome nursing pics that my bestie Laura took for me. They totally deserve a spot in this post. Go here to read "Blessed to be Free."

I can't choose between my two favorite August posts so feel free to choose for me. Go here to read about why I love my students who are the biggest troublemakers in "I Heart Hellions." And here to read my letter to G on his first birthday.

In September, I wrote a post about one of those big life-changing moments, that included friendship, meanness, death, and a big life lesson. Go here to read "A Life Lesson Remembered."

In October, I wrote about extended breastfeeding. Nuff said. Here is "My Lactation Proclamation."

In November, I talked a lot about my faith. I have two posts that I'm proud of. The first is explaining just how a friend who didn't give up on me got me started on my faith journey in the first place. Go here to read "Five Hundred and Twenty Six Days." And the second post was about a bump in the road of that journey, and how a four-year-old got me back on track. Go here to read "Detours."

And in December, I wrote a post that got me lots of comments and e-mails. Apparently it struck a few nerves in my readers. Go here to read "Notice Without Judging."

Major props to you if you even read the summaries. Namaste.

Food Allergy Fridays: All About Snacking

Once I got over the initial shocks of L's allergy, it hit me that our snacking would have to change drastically. No more goldfish, bunny crackers, Ritz crackers. The more I learned, the less comfortable I was with fruit snacks. And trust me...fruit snacks were a staple in our house. As were cheez-its. Cookies. Pretzels.

So what do we snack on these days? Well, not everything is healthy. (I say this as I eat my Haribo gummy bears as I type.) And we do eat things with oils that aren't the best option, as well as corn. But we are doing our best to get by, and hey, it's better than the way we used to eat.

Here is a list of our favorites:

Glutino pretzels. These bad boys are pricey but worth every penny. They are easy to bag up for a snack and they seriously taste just like regular pretzels.

Squeezable applesauce. Trader Joe's has ones called Crushers that are our favorite (and yes, we've tried a few varieties). We buy three boxes a week and invariably tear through them.

Trader Joe's also carries the best dairy-free chocolate chips that work well for when my sweet tooth takes over. I love mixing them with raspberries or strawberries.

We also throw the chocolate chips in with Chex/nuts/raisins/dried fruit to make our own trail mix.

B and I both eat a lot of chips and salsa, especially peach salsa from TJ's. L is allergic to tomatoes, too, so he can't indulge. More for me! I kid. Well, I don't. But, yeah. Moving on.

Fruit leathers are possibly our favorite snack in our house. TJ's brand are only fruit and vitamin C, nothing else added in. In our opinion, the best flavors are boysenberry and apricot.

We do eat several different kinds of chips in our house. Lay's potato chips are safe for the boys and have very few ingredients. However, I know they aren't the healthiest choice, so I keep veggie chips and sweet potato chips on hand too. My boys have a weakness for chips and sometimes I need something to bind them up, ahem, so we do eat them.

I love me some hummus and if G is in the mood, he'll share with me. Pair it with peppers, sugar snap peas, or carrot sticks...mmmm.

Popcorn was my favorite food prior to going dairy/gluten free. Now I make my own in my air-popper and add my dairy/soy-free butter and a little salt and it's better than any other popcorn out there.

Thanks to my girl Saf for the FAF - All about Snacking suggestion. Let me know if you have any other ideas for upcoming FAF posts.

Namaste.

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: L's Letter to Santa

He dictated. I scribed. Verbatim.

Because we made it.

It happened. It really, really happened.

For the first time in four years, we made it to our family celebrations on Christmas day. Every other year, Logan had some nasty bug, leaving us at home, trying to convince ourselves that it was better that we could just stay home and relax.

We made a few changes in the week before Christmas to try to keep the germs at bay, and for the most part, it worked. Granted, G was up with a bad cold and fever half the night last night, but I'll take it on December 26th.

Because we made it, and therefore we had so many memories I don't want to forget.

It made me laugh until my cheeks hurt, watching L going up to the stage at church and completely blanking out when the pastor asked him what his favorite story was, then blurting out, "CURIOUS GEORGE'S DREAM!" and interrupting another little girl's answer, delighting the congregation to no end.

It made me remember my own childhood as I watched L's contagious enthusiasm over opening every.single.gift....screaming over everything from the superhero socks to the Skechers Luminators he's been asking for for two years.

It made me smile fondly at G's delight over opening his gifts, but nothing beating out the excitement over his favorite stocking stuffer...a banana.

It made me realize the true definition of bittersweet as we watched previous Christmas mornings on our video camera, marveling at how much L used to look like G, and how much healthier he looks and sounds since we've diagnosed his food allergies. Hearing myself ask him if he thought he needed his inhaler simultaneously hurt my heart and gave me a sense of pride that I helped give my child's health back to him.

It made me proud that instead of buying each other gifts, B and I gave extra money at church to help solve the world water crisis. And it made me shake my head when they reminded us once again that $20 billion would solve the problem completely, and $450 billion is spent on Christmas gifts each year.

It made me realize how time slips through my fingers when I went downstairs at B's aunt and uncle's house to check on L as he played pool (or as he calls it, "billiards") with the big boys. He placed his hand on my shoulder and gently said, "Mommy, walk away from me please." Of course, I obeyed.

It made my heart warm when G asked me to nurse him by signing "milk," and adding "please," so I quietly took him into the master bedroom and sang him Christmas carols as we nursed for what will be the last Christmas nursing session.

Merry Christmas, indeed.

Merry Birthday to me.

When I was little, I hated that my birthday was three days before Christmas.

My aunt loves to tell the story of when I was little and she gave me a birthday present wrapped in Christmas paper and I told her EXACTLY how much that bothered me.

I got a lot of "This is for your birthday and Christmas" gifts that I learned to accept graciously, but I grumbled on the inside every time.

But now? Now I love that my birthday is three days before Christmas. It's almost always the last day of the school year before Christmas break. Everyone is in a fabulous mood, it's a very fun day at work, and sometimes I like to pretend like all the celebrating is for my birthday. (What? At least I can admit it!)

Today, my sweet B took the day off work so that I could go into and home from work without rushing to drop off/pick up the boys. My wonderful coworker made me gluten-free, casein-free brownies. I've already had several heartwarming renditions of "Happy Birthday" by my sweet students. And only a few people have told me "Happy Birthday AND Merry Christmas." (You can't blame a girl for still not liking the combined greetings thing.)

But there's one more thing that hasn't happened. I haven't met my fundraising goal. I'm ELEVEN measly dollars away from my goal. I'm at 97% of the $340. If eleven of you will give the one dollar to help people get clean water, you'll make my birthday wish come true. It's a safe site and you'll even be emailed a receipt.

***Edited to add: I made my goal!! But don't let that stop you from giving. We watched a video at church last week of our pastor interacting with gorgeous kids in a developing country. The children were absolutely giddy over their new clean water. It's a fantastic cause. And THANK YOU again to those of you who donated! You made my birthday wish come true!!

(And if you have already donated, thank you...I'm waiting to get the thank-you e-mails out until tomorrow when I can sit down and do them all at once. But I am very grateful.)

Want to give a dollar? Go here: FirstGiving - Your fundraising

Namaste.

So What Wednesday: because SWW is cheaper than therapy.

I'm linking up with Shannon this week for a little "So What Wednesday" action.

So what if.....

* I laughed when I found out one of my students threw her shoes down the sewer today? And the giggling continued when I heard that a custodian had to jump down and fish them out? And I struggled to keep a straight face when I wrote a social story for her about being safe at recess? Shoes down the sewer are funny. End of story.

* I enjoyed being out by myself last night, even though it was a dental appointment for a toothache and a trip to the grocery store? In my world, that's equal to a spa day, yo.

* I asked Twitter for pity and support about the crown I have to get for my cracked tooth? Even though I have had more fillings than I can count due to stupid weak enamel, I still get all wiggy about dental work.

* I wasn't going to give out Christmas presents to my coworkers this year but ended up buying extremely cheap reasonable personalizable gifts because it just doesn't feel right to not give out something to my special education team members?

* I haven't blogged all week because all I can think about is something traumatic that happened to me on Sunday? Okay, something that happened to G? So what if I'm going to get it over with and say it really fast because I feel such an amount of guilt and worry over it, still? Hefelloutofthegrocerycartontohishead. And so what if other moms' stories of similar incidents make me feel less guilty and worried? SO. WHAT?

What are you saying "so what" to this week? I wanna know. Really.

Namaste.

Enter the Story

When people post videos on their blogs, I rarely watch them. I have a million reasons why, but the simple truth is that I just don't watch.

But I'm posting a video today that I LOVE. It's under three minutes and I'd love for you to watch it and tell me your thoughts on it. Go ahead. I'll wait.




Now. I admit that I am still buying some presents. I bought my mom's husband a book. I bought my niece clothes and books. And my kids are getting toys. And books. (Yep, I'm totally that girl who buys everyone books.)

But.

I painted a picture for my mom with an inspirational scripture quote that I hope helps her get through the rest of her chemo.

I made a wreath for my mother-in-law.

I did buy my dad Wizard of Oz drinking glasses, (he's obsessed with that movie) but I'm filling them with allergy-friendly treats that are for him and L to share when they hang out. I'm also printing a map showing the route from our house to his, framed with "There's no place like home, except Paw-Paw John's."

We are giving my father in law homemade gift cards with gifts of time to help him around his house. I'm creating one for each season.

My step-mother-in-law requested a donation to Living Water, so she's getting that.

If you like this concept, and you are looking for ideas of the sort, go check out my friend Elizabeth's blog, who's been posting some pretty awesome ideas (and who I've stolen most of mine from).

And then, you know, if you are looking for a place to spend the money you saved? Head to my BIRTHDAY WISH SITE and give one little dollar to those people who need water. It's a safe site and you'll be emailed a donation receipt. I'm 68% of the way to my goal and am not too proud to beg.

Namaste.

He's lucky he's cute.

He doesn't sleep.

He walks behind me making mess after mess after mess as I try to get ready in the morning. And when I tell him "no," he hauls off and hits me.

He runs away, laughing, when I try to get him dressed. Or get his shoes on. Or put on his jacket.



But all is forgiven when he takes my face in his chubby little hands and plants a big kiss right on my lips. Oh, how I love that little stinker.

an open letter to my sleep-hating son

Dear Gray,

I love you. A lot. You are cute and funny and serious and quiet and you like to sit back and take it all in. It's quite endearing how from time to time throughout the day, you take it upon yourself to spend some time on the infant side of your classroom. Your teachers say it's because you are so laid-back that every so often, you crave the peace and quiet away from the boisterous other toddlers. You, my dear, are your daddy, through and through.

I love your daddy with all my heart. But there's one thing you've gotten from him that has been hard to tolerate.

Your hatred of sleep.

Buddy, you are smart. You are affectionate. You are everything I hoped for in a little man. Except for a good sleeper. That, my love, you are not.

Two nights ago, we ended up on the couch, sleeping, sitting up, you snuggled on my chest. This was after 2.75 hours of your refusal to sleep. At almost 16 months, you really should be sleeping through the night. And you know what? I know you can, for you did just that last night.

However, it was in Mommy and Daddy's bed. And sweetheart, that can't go on.

You know Elizabeth, who you adore? Well, she recommended a sleep clinic for us. She says the woman there is life-changing. And in thirty-three days, Daddy and I are going there to create a plan.

So, my little bear, you better enjoy the next thirty-two days of sleeplessness. Because I am grumpy and weepy and foggy-brained and headachey and not feeling well and all too reliant on coffee these days. And something's gotta give.

Love you (even at 2 am!)
Momma

Whining and begging...Happy Monday.

My kid hates me. Either that, or he hates sleeping. Or both. But once again, he was up from midnight to almost 3 am and I have that so-tired-I-could-puke feeling. Honestly, I don't know how much longer I can deal with it. I've tried everything.

His eyeteeth are coming in and I assume that's what's going on. I was concerned that it might be his ears last night because he seemed to be in pain. But when I called his school to check on him this morning, they said he was fever-free, his nose was not running, and he was happy as a clam.

I'm glad one of us is.

Everything I read about terrible sleepers says that they are most likely gifted.

No, I'm not kidding. And he better hope he's gifted. Something better be related to the lack of sleep I'm getting. He's lucky he's cute. Sigh.

So besides my big whine-fest, I am reposting something I posted a while back. Please read and follow directions. I'm sleep deprived enough to yell at you. You know, if I can find you. (Read on, and you'll understand what I mean.)

*********

Can you guys do me a big favor?

Please?

Can you go to that link next to your picture on your Dashboard that says "Edit Profile" and click it, and then mark the box under Privacy that says "Show my e-mail address"?

Pretty please?

So many of you comment and I really want to respond to your comment via e-mail, but you have that whole "noreply-comment" thing going on.

And if you are worried about your real name being out there for the blogosphere to know, just create a blog e-mail like I did (namastebyday@gmail.com). It takes two seconds.

Namaste.

Notice without judging.

Last night, L threw the mother of all temper tantrums. It was big. It was bad. It involved a threat to pee on me.

I may or may not have e-mailed the social worker at his school this morning. I can say with certainty that I would appreciate any moms of 4 year olds telling me that a 45 minute meltdown is normal for a kid that young. Seriously.

But I digress.

One of our family members, who shall remain nameless, for a variety of reasons, was at our house last night, witnessing the whole thing. He watched the parenting choices I made (including writing a social story, picking him up and placing him in his room for "uh-oh time," and actively ignoring the screams and thumps that went on for 45 minutes.

At one point, he noted, "Wow, your patience is amazing."

(For the record, it isn't always, or even usually. However, I deal with kids in crisis every day at school and feel like my parenting is best during the biggest meltdowns. Weird? Maybe.)

He continued chatting with me. As we heard a particularly loud thump-crash combination, he chuckled and said, "When my kids were growing up, that's when I would have gotten the belt."

B and I explained that we believed that L was clearly displaying attention-seeking behaviors and we choose to ignore those. We didn't discuss our own, very different, feelings on spanking.

"Yeah," he said. "I get that."

And we went right back to what we were doing.

Later, I realized how monumental that moment was.

Once, a long time ago, I blogged about a sentence that one of my favorite yoga teachers said during a class.

"Notice without judging."

This family member is amazing at that very difficult task. He follows a very unconventional religion, yet encourages us on our own, very different, faith journey. He even attends church with us from time to time.

As mothers, as friends, as professionals, as women, I feel that this is one of the most difficult things to do. To notice, without judging.

I think I'm usually pretty good at it. I don't judge others for breastfeeding or not breastfeeding, which is probably easy because I have experienced two polar opposite breastfeeding journeys with my boys. I don't judge for choice of diapers, or circumcision, or sleep-training methods, even though I feel very passionately that the choices I've made are right for me.

But when I see a parent disciplining their child, or failing to do so? I tend to judge, albeit silently. And when I see a child with a pacifier who I feel is too old to have one? The judgies creep up.
I'm sure there are a few other things that make me more judgmental than I'd like to admit.

Clearly, our family member subscribed to a very different discipline technique than we do. But he was able to let our choices in our household roll off his back. We weren't hurting him. They were our choices and he recognized that we have a different perspective. A different background. A different family dynamic.

Today, I'm making the choice to consciously start trying to notice, without judging. Can you imagine what a difference it would make if even a small portion of the blogging community chose to do the same?

Namaste.

Thankful Thursdays: the randomosity edition

Thankful Thursday is here and oh, do I have things for which to be thankful for this week.

Like the fact that ever since I posted THIS post on my spirituality, my faith has grown and deepened. I don't know if it was the fact that I put it out there, so to speak, or that I got such incredible support from people who have (and do) experience the same thing, but it was cathartic, to say the least.

And the fact that the gingerbread boy I wrote about in THIS post ended successfully. When I walked in to L's room that day, he was just bursting with excitement. "Mommy! Mommy! The gingerbread man ran away! And he left a message saying, 'Haha, not here, I'm where Lunch Bunch eats!' And then we went there, and he left another note saying, 'Haha, not here, I'm where the fishes swim!' And there was a note on the fish tank saying 'Haha, not here either!' And then! And then! And then we saw a teacher with flour on her face because he threw flour at her! He's on the naughty list, Mommy! And then we found them in our classroom and we ate him up!!" Seeing the joy on his face that wasn't decreased due to a lack of participation made this momma proud.

And the fact that so many of you followed my plea on THIS post so now I can leave you comments. I'm thankful for that. Now if you'd just link your e-mail so I can respond to your comments, life would be even more perfect. Hint, hint.

I'm also thankful for coconut milk, and baby wipes that take coffee stains out of white camis, and soy-free, dairy-free butter, and Uggs, and The Hunger Games, and my Erin Condren planner, and HeyTell, and sherpa blankets, and Udi's gluten-free bagels.

But there are two ginormous things that I'm even more thankful for.

First, B got the job! It means less hours and more money and significantly less stress, and ultimately, it's his dream job. I'm so proud of him because he went up seven steps in his company, and he worked his butt off to get there.

Second is the fact that so many of you have helped to make my birthday wish come true. I'm 59% of the way to my goal and I am still so hopeful that I'll earn the extra $139 in the next two weeks. Can you donate just one dollar to people who desperately need water and make me even more thankful? If so, please go HERE.

FirstGiving - Your fundraising

What are YOU thankful for?

Namaste.

My PSA on comments

I'm WAY far behind on blog reading. I'm trying, but it's not going well. At home, I get very little time to myself, and when I do, I'm absolutely obsessed with The Hunger Games.

When I have a few minutes between kids at school, I (shhh) try to read a post here or there. But it's IEP season and this week is apparently meltdowns-from-Hell week (seriously, the first four kids I saw today were either in crisis or dangerously close to it).

So when I do get a sec, and I read your brilliant post, and I want to leave my own loving comment, and I can't, I get so frustrated. I haven't been able to figure out why that's been happening lately. And then my friend Colleen posted this post today explaining it.

As she explained in her post, if your comment box is embedded below your post, then we can't comment on your posts. So if you go into your settings, then go to comments, and make your comment box appear in it's own window, you'll be golden. I can leave you some love.

Help a sister out, would ya?

Namaste.

The Gingerbread Boy: the food-allergic version

Once upon a time, there was a food allergic boy and a baking-impaired mommy.

One day, the food-allergic boy's teacher told the baking-impaired mommy that they were going to make, decorate, and complete an activity with gingerbread boys the following week of school.

The baking-impaired mommy had an initial panic attack, but quickly recovered and consulted her trusty google search engine.

Luckily, right away, she found a gluten and dairy-free gingerbread recipe that claimed to be "easy."

The mommy was excited and rounded up her ingredients during naptime the next day.

She mixed up the batter.

She rolled out the dough. Well, she tried to roll out the dough, but baking-impaired mommies don't own a rolling pin. So she did the best she could. Which wasn't really very good at all, but she tried.

She shaped little arms, and she shaped little legs, and she shaped a little head.

And she put it in the oven, and waited. She watched carefully, because she knew the story of the gingerbread man that ran away. This gingerbread man did not run away.

But she wished it would have when she tasted it. It was disgusting.

As she gagged it down, he said, "Bake, bake, but you can't beat my ploy, you will not win, I'm the gingerbread boy!"

The mommy was used to epic baking fails, so this did not stop her for long. She threw all of the dough away and started anew.

She got out ingredients to make no-fail peanut butter cookies: peanut butter, an egg, sugar, and vanilla.

She rolled out the dough. Well, she tried to roll out the dough, but baking-impaired mommies don't own a rolling pin. So she did the best she could. Which wasn't really very good at all, but she tried.

She shaped little arms, and she shaped little legs, and she shaped a little head.

And she put it in the oven, and waited. She watched carefully, because she knew the story of the gingerbread man that ran away. This gingerbread man did not run away.

And when she took him out of the oven, he didn't taste terrible. But he fell apart. And the mommy almost cried, especially when she heard him say,"Bake, bake, but you can't beat my ploy, you will not win, I'm the gingerbread boy!"

Luckily, though, the baking-impaired mommy had kept some dough because she remembered her past baking fails.

So she tried again. She shaped thicker arms, and she shaped thicker legs, and she shaped a big fat head.

And she put it in the oven, and waited. She watched and she paced and she may have cursed a few times.

But when she took him out of the oven, she smiled. He smelled good. He tasted good. And he didn't fall apart.

Until, that is, she tried trimming him up and brushing the crumbs into the sink, and he was beheaded.

So the baking-impaired mommy took another peanut butter cookie and stuck that head right on and smooshed it all together. She found gluten-free sprinkles and a pack of Skittles and put it all together in a bag and handed it to the food-allergic boy's teacher the next day.

And she gave very specific instructions not to take it off of the plate for fear that he'd lose a limb, or worse, his smooshed-on head.

Now, she sits, hoping against hope that the food-allergic boy enjoys his "gingerbread" boy this afternoon, just as much as the sly fox did in the original story.

And she hopes her blog readers send prayers/positive vibes/high hopes for the same thing.

The End

Here's hoping.

I keep saying that I don't want to blog about my faith journey. I don't want to make people uncomfortable or, worse, label me a Jesus Freak. At least I can admit that.

But then, I do mention something on here, and the comments, and especially the e-mails, come rolling in. People encourage me to post about the cool things that are happening. And since this little ole blog is a baby book/diary/processing tool, I want to use it as such. I want to include everything that is important to me, and create something that my boys can read one day.

So guess what. I'm telling another God story. Go ahead and peace out if you feel so inclined. I don't mind.

If you are going to read, I'm grateful enough for that that I'm going to make a big confession right here. And it's worse than "I never ever iron" or "every room in my house is trashed right now" which are both true.

Deep breath...here it is.

I have huge, gigantic, ginormous doubts during my journey sometimes. I go to church and I get all inspired and I cry and I write in my Bible and I boogie during the songs and I believe.

And then as the week goes on, I wonder. I have lots of friends who are atheists. Who tell me they strongly disagree with what my church teaches. Who tell me the Bible is not to be taken seriously. Who tell me, on many levels, without saying the words, that I'm wrong. Crazy. Stupid.

I'm embarrassed to admit that then I wonder if I AM wrong. If the Bible is just written by people who want to control society. If...gah. If there is a God.

Sigh. I said it. I do. I wonder. I doubt. Even though I know in my heart what I believe, sometimes my brain takes over. I pray about that a lot. I apologize to God. I ask Him to come near and show me He's with me.

And? I told B this weekend that I wouldn't blame God for saying, "Gina, short of coming to you and speaking to you, I don't know how much more you want from me." You can read all the huge things He's done for me here on my blog. God likes to hit me upside the head with things, because I obviously need that.

This weekend, I had another bonk on my head moment.

I had taken some cough medicine that gifted me with a lovely bout of insomnia on Friday night. I had woken up and for the life of me, couldn't get back to sleep. I felt the strongest calling to get up and read my Bible. I kept getting this feeling about the name David.

Typing this makes me realize how crazy it sounds. It does. So I do realize that I sound like a nutcase. Don't worry.

Although I have a very strong Catholic background, I have very little Bible knowledge. When I volunteer in the kids' ministry, I learn as they learn. So I just went with this weird feeling and looked to see if there was a book of David. There wasn't. I decided to simply flip my Bible open and read whatever I landed on.

So when I opened to Psalms and Psalm 53 said "a maskil of David" at the top, I might have peed my pants a little. I definitely chuckled at it. I knew it wasn't a coincidence.

I really knew it wasn't a coincidence when I read Psalm 53. It began: "The fool says in his heart, there is no God."

Like I said....hit-upside-the-head moment right there.

At peace, I read a few more psalms, all speaking quite loudly to me, and went to bed peacefully.

Two days later, I went to church. As the pastor preached about David, B and I exchanged knowing smiles.

And as they played a closing song (Jesus Messiah), one lyric in particular hit me, again, upside the head..."All our hope is in You."

I consider myself fairly intelligent. I have my master's degree and always did really well in school. But somehow it took me that long to realize that of course I don't know for sure. Even with the coincidences that are clearly not coincidences. Even looking at my boys, who are obvious proof of God. I don't know for sure. I have to choose to believe...to have faith...to HOPE.

It delighted me when, later that day, my friend Elizabeth sent me my daily Scripture text and it gave me chills. Smiling, I read, "Hold unswervingly to the hope you profess, for he who promised is faithful. (Hebrews 10:23 NIV).

Namaste.

Food Allergy Fridays: Milk Substitutes

I talk a lot about gluten-free substitutions on my FAF posts. Speaking of, I discovered Udi's plain bagels this week which have changed my life. Go get them if you are GF. They are light. They are fluffy. They are not crumbly in the slightest.

But I digress.

Today, a blog/Twitter friend asked me about milk substitutes for toddlers, and made a special request for a FAF post about it.

So today, my FAF post is about just that. (Thanks for the suggestion, Suz!)

When I realized that G had a definite milk intolerance, and what I suspect is a milk allergy, I went with my gut and took him off of dairy. The spitting up stopped. The ear infections disappeared. Plus, I started reading about the fact that perhaps cow's milk isn't as healthy as I originally thought. So I kept him dairy-free.

I've done a lot of research on milk substitutes and I've found that, basically, everyone disagrees on which milk substitute is best. Most valid sites/experts will tell you that cow's milk isn't necessary, as long as you are getting the nutrients in other forms, particularly fat, calcium, and vitamins. Our pediatrician agrees wholeheartedly.

So I attempt to include vitamin/fat/calcium-rich foods in G's diet, but I also use milk substitutes to help.

For many reasons, I'm not comfortable giving my boys soy milk. L is intolerant, and so am I. Furthermore, much of what I read about it has brought me to the decision that it's just not right for our family. I know lots of mommas who give it to their dairy-free littles and if it works for you, more power to you. But for me, I steer clear.

Rice milk is okay, but it's typically low in fat and protein, and very high in carbs. I personally don't think it's the best option (for us anyway) but I also don't think it is necessarily unhealthy.

Coconut milk is G's favorite. I like it for him too, since it has lots of fat and calories. Trader Joe's brand is an excellent source of calcium, vitamin D, and B12, and a good source of vitamin A. However, it has no protein.

L and I love us some almond milk. The kind we get is low in protein but fortified with calcium, vitamins A, D, and E. I've read that almond milk can potentially be harmful to babies' thyroids, but friends of mine who see nutritionists say that isn't the case, unless they are drinking gallons and gallons of the stuff.

The last option is hemp milk. Nope, no joke. (Did you doubt my hippie-ness?) It's actually a great option, if you can find it. They've discontinued it at our Trader Joe's, which makes us very sad. It has omega-6 and omega-3 essential fatty acids as well as magnesium, phytosterols, ascorbic acid, beta-carotene, calcium, fiber, iron, potassium, phosphorus, riboflavin, niacin and thiamin. The taste is...different, but not bad.

The problem we've found with milk substitutes is the presence of carrageenan. It's a food additive from seaweed, and it's in lots of things besides milk. The jury is still out on it, but it's possible that it's linked to intestinal issues, and possibly even cancer. So we try to avoid it when possible.

So what do we do? A combination of rice, coconut, and almond in addition to a healthy diet and vitamins and supplements. If we can find hemp, we add that into the mix as well.

I fear that today's FAF post may be more confusing than enlightening, so as always, feel free to e-mail me specific questions to namastebyday@gmail.com.

Namaste!

My birthday wish

When it comes to birthdays, I'm a big kid. I love my birthday, I make a big deal out of other people's birthdays. My birthday is in three weeks from today and I've been talking about it since October.

I'm the kind of person who loves gifts. Honestly, it doesn't matter what it is. A pack of gum, a hand-me-down...I get excited over anything.

But this year, I want to do something different for my birthday. Our church is very involved with Living Water International, a faith-based group that raises money to dig wells in developing countries. Every time they show a video of these kids, giddy over finally getting clean water, I cry big tears. And last week, they educated us about the fact that lack of clean water kills more people than anything else.

So this year? The best gift for me is a donation to Living Water International. All I'm asking is for one dollar from each person. You won't miss that...you know you won't. All online donations are secure.

I'm turning 34 and my goal is to raise $340 for Living Water International. Will you help me make my birthday wish come true? Please?

Click on the link below to help. Happy Birthday to me!

FirstGiving - Your fundraising