Dear Anyone Who Knows Me IRL and Reads My Blog,
(First of all, IRL means In Real Life. It's blog-speak, which I do from time to time in my little corner of the internet here. I realize that if you don't have a blog, you probably now think I'm even weirder than you initially thought, and that's cool. I know you don't get it, and I'm not asking you to. )
Due to a series of unfortunate events and a very innocent mistake by one of my closest friends, I have a new group of blog readers. And I know you don't understand why that bothers me. It is out there on the web, after all. It can't get much more public. However, my last name isn't connected here, so it would have been tougher than you think to find it. But find it you did. So here we are.
I've already cleaned up my blog to put a few choice posts back into draft mode. No, I didn't talk about you, or you, or even you. I may have mentioned students or work drama without breaking confidentiality rules, but suffice it to say that I will be extra careful from now on. Honestly, it's probably a good thing that I tidied up around here. Silver lining, yo.
But here's the thing. I haven't blogged in several days because it does wig me out a bit to have non-blogger, IRL friends and acquaintances read my blog. However, I have decided not to delete this blog, start a new blog from scratch, or completely censor myself. (I carefully considered all of those options.) I blog to vent, to remember, to process, to document. And I'm not going to stop doing any of those things, even though in the past year, people from my work, my church, and my family have stumbled upon some posts.
Just know, though, that sometimes I'm silly. Sometimes I'm raw. Always, I'm honest. And you'll see sides of me that you haven't before now. I'll blog about my struggles with parenting. I'll write about the scars I have from being physically and emotionally abused. I'll talk about my church and my relationship with God. I'll post about my love of my blog and Twitter friends. Yep, I have friends I've met online who I adore. I even talk to/text/HeyTell with them. You think it's bizarre. That's cool.
So go ahead. Read away. Gossip about my posts if you must. But print them out to show other people, and you'll see yet another side of me that you won't enjoy. Give this address out to other people who know me IRL, and I'll be furious. And don't even bother sending me a Twitter request. Not gonna happen.
I am oddly private about something that is ultimately, as public as you can get. I know that's hard to understand. But since you're along for the ride, buckle your seatbelt. It gets bumpy around here sometimes.
Sincerely,
GinaP.S. I turned word verification off so feel free to comment again now that I've taken the PITA-ness out of it. Namaste'.
17 comments:
I'm really sorry you're dealing with this G.
Honestly non bloggers may read a lot initially but eventually they forget to keep coming back, this is just my feeling.
I'm pretty sure I completely understand where you are coming from. I would be furious if someone was giving out my blog link. I don't have my blog connected to facebook or twitter, simply because I have never felt comfortable with it.
I'm sorry something has come up. I think you rock!! I appreciate your writing!
I have a lot of IRL people reading my blog. I definitely watch what I post, but not a lot. I'm sure whatever you're going thru will get better. Like Charbelle said, they'll eventually lose interest and stop reading.
Sorry you're dealing with crap. I think I'm pretty naive in believing ONLY the very few people I've told about my blog from my "real life" are reading mine. Sometimes, I really really wish I could just know who did read. Other times, I like to believe ignorance is bliss.
Thank God for private Twitter, though!
P.S. I love how you hit then ail on the head when referencing how people do not understand that we want something that is so completely public to stay "private".
I so understand. I actually have a lot of people from real life who read my blog (and never comment... so IRL lurkers). I even have someone who consistently googles my whole name and blog name. So they know me, but instead of subscribing, they just google me. Very weird. The whole IRL thing definitely is hard when I want to write about things that go on IRL. It'd be nice to share all parts of my life without worrying who I may offend or who may gossip about me.
Anyway, I agree with charbelle. They'll probably forget to come back eventually. Sorry it happened, though. Thank God for Twitter, right? :)
ugh. what a pain. Hopefully they'll forget quickly. It's funny how much we appreciate having such a public place to share private stuff. I don't really blog anymore for that reason, felt guilty not sharing baby stuff with obsessed grannies-who are driving me so crazy on Facebook that I've pretty much stopped that too. So, twitter it is.
@amdavee
It was bound to happen. This is why I gave up writing about my mil (the worlds biggest lying lurked who has spent years pretending she doesn't read it). I've got a private blog as well. Even I don't share everything anymore.
Oh Gina! I totally know how you feel. This is one reason why I don't blog much at all. My MIL is horrible with talking to me IRL about what I'm posting. It's so awkward.
I have a few IRL friends that follow my blog, one of them not being my MIL. I bitch about her a lot, but it's well deserved bitching in my opinion. She's just not a very good mom, she's a horrible grandma and I get to watch it play out in real life. Some days, I hope she's stumbles across my blog because she needs to read about the impact she has on our life.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with this, but I'm glad you're staying around.
mhmmm. Totally relate. love you though. you're making the right choice to stay. ;)
My blog initially started out as a "sharing news about the kids" blog, so all my friends and family read it. Then I decided I wanted to start sharing more things about me and my thoughts. I changed addresses, looks, and name, but some of the people I know still read. And then I found out that some people at work read it. And for some reason, just like you, it made me uncomfortable. I'd like to think I don't censor myself, but I do. And I hate it.
Why not just lock your blog and make it private? You can still have up to 100 readers when you invite them.
I've had this happen on a VERY small scale myself, but enough that it scared me into watching what I say a little bit more. I know what you mean about feeling like blogging is so private, even though it's public. I feel your pain, but I hope you keep writing!
I'm sorry this happened to you, because I know how important your privacy is.
Honestly, there are times I wish I could go back and make my blog more anonymous. The fact that my entire family and many of my friends and co-workers read it definitely keeps me from writing some of the things I really want to share.
Mine started out as a friend/family update blog so tons of IRL's read mine. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes, I forget they are reading and write things I would never in my life say outloud ... but it will all work out. I'm glad you're staying.
i'm sorry you're dealing with this :( i don't tell anyone irl about my blog. not sure why. it would kind of be like being seen naked. but... they'll eventually get to know you on a deeper level and love you like we do. i'm glad you're sticking with it.
I ran into a girl at a work training event that said, "oh my god, I know you from your blog!" and I about fell over. Totally, totally random. She works in a different city (my same firm, different office). That COMPLETELY wigged me out. I now definitely censor myself a little re work (but there's plenty of other blog material). AND when I was raw and honest about some stuff in my marriage, my FIL got all huffy and weird . . . (I'd initially given family the web address b/c I thought it was just going to be about Sammie B, I think he's the only consistent reader of that group now). Anyway, I totally get it. I've decided I won't write much about work (but that's okay) but the rest of it, I refuse to censor. It's my space. And I NEED it. So, good for you for keeping on keeping on!
- A
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