Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins. ~Langdon Mitchell

My husband and I never fight.

Oh, sure, we get aggravated with each other sometimes. We might even make a crack about the other's annoying habits from time to time.

But actual yelling, slamming doors, really angry fights? It simply doesn't happen.

Well.

Except for the first few weeks couple of six months after we have a baby.

Because then all bets are off.

My husband is pretty freakin' amazing. Seriously. The man cooks dinner every.single.night. He does all the laundry (including folding and putting it away). He bought maxipads for me after I gave birth.

But none of that seems like enough after we have a baby. The combination of sleep deprivation+worry over the baby and the big brother and their health and our schedules and finances and whether the bottles are clean for the babysitter and fifty million other things...well, it apparently makes me forget what a gem my husband is.

I have recently lost it over the fact that he sighed when he picked up my dirty clothes off the bathroom floor. Because hello...I was probably rushing to get out of the shower to feed the baby since I am the only one who does that. So he needs to cut me a break on the clothes on the floor. Geez.

And that led to me going off about how I don't say anything when he leaves trash on the counter two inches from the trash can, or how he can't put dishes in the dishwasher, or how he leaves random crap on my dresser.

This fight was totally separate from the one where I yelled at him about the fact that he has absolutely no ability to multitask. That night, I was already late for the gym and had to hold G because he couldn't pick up a screaming baby and warm up a hot dog for L at the same time. I may or may not have gone on about how I have both kids on my own every morning and at least once a week when he works late.

You know, because he is putting in extra hours at a stressful job so that I can shop. And get my hair done. And have a gym membership. Because even though G screams the entire time I'm gone(which also has frustrated me at times), B never asks me not to leave.

With all honesty, I don't know what I'd do without him.

Even when he completely ignores me when I talk to him.

Or forgets our plans for the 239580238th time.

Or insists on keeping the house so cold and dark that I swear he's part vampire.

Or is so tense when he holds G that it's contagious and it turns into a vicious cycle.

Or sucks at that whole multi-tasking thing.

It doesn't make having a baby any easier on a marriage. It's hard. Really hard. I'm ashamed to admit that we've argued in front of L, who has asked us to stop. Thankfully, that's only happened once or twice,and I'm invariably the only one who loses control,but it's still not even remotely okay. Fortunately, we know how to fight respectfully, and when to walk away,and by the grace of God, our marriage remains strong.

For our anniversary in October, he gave me a card that made me cry. It talked about how one day, we'll look back at this time in our life and wonder how we did it all. That when it's just the two of us, we'll remember these days and smile fondly at the craziness that was our life.

One day, he won't answer me when we are watching tv not because he's ignoring me, but because his hearing aid isn't turned up loud enough. I'm sure that will irritate me too.

But whether I'm in my 30's or my 80's, there's no one else at whom I'd rather roll my eyes.

"How did it get so late so soon?" -Dr. Seuss

A few weeks ago, over on Katie's blog at Loves of Life, I chose to take part in a scarf swap. The rules were that you had to buy your partner a scarf (after being given info on their fashion likes and dislikes), send it, then on October 14, post a picture of you with your scarf.

This was a bit daunting for a busy busy girl with ADD, but I've been wanting to try out the scarf-wearing trend that is so cute on other people. I figured this would be a fun way to start.

I actually bought a scarf for my swap partner, Erin, and sent it on time. I received my super-cute boho-esque scarf on Tuesday. And then Wednesday, October 14, rolled around. I realized I had left my camera at my dad's, but since he was watching L that night while B and I went out for our anniversary dinner, I figured I'd pick it up then and post about my cute scarf that night.

But folks, it was our anniversary. And ignoring my sweet hubby on our day, even for a few minutes, didn't seem right. (Especially to blog, which he complains hints that I do way a bit too often as it is.

So I meant to post about it earlier today, but after work, I had to go see a client, then headed over to see my friend Laura's gorgeous new baby, then rushed home with enough time to eat fast food a very healthy dinner, then head out for my hair appointment.

And now here I sit, feeling very guilty about the fact that I'm a day late and I probably come off as unappreciative to my girl Erin. But if my pathetic excuse-filled post doesn't tell you that I'm sincere, maybe my dark circles in the picture below of me wearing my new scarf will. (Or the fact that I am so exhausted that I couldn't take the time to put on a shirt that actually matched my scarf.)



I am behind on blog awards, giveaway prizes that I've received, and, well, life in general. But at least I have a cute new scarf, and the weekend is just around the corner! Namaste!

Even not-quite-fairy-tales can have happy endings.

Four years ago, I made the best and scariest decision of my life to take the plunge into married life. For the second time. Although I was petrified to get hitched again, I kept reminding myself that if I hadn't gotten married the first time, I would have never met the man that I was supposed to marry.





You see, when I entered my first marriage, I already knew B. His roommate was dating my then-fiancee's sister. B was actually such a good friend of mine that he came to my first wedding. By the time I got married for the first time, I adored B, but when I first met him, I wasn't so smitten. He wouldn't make eye contact with me, no matter what charming tricks I pulled out. He hardly spoke to me whatsoever. I actually used the word "shady" to describe him. Later, I realized he was just extraordinarily shy...something so foreign to me.

As my ex-husband became more and more emotionally and physically abusive, I more often retreated to the apartment that was shared by B and his roommate, Steve. After all, they were the ones who first told me that the way my ex talked to me and treated me was, well, abusive. They had an open-door policy with me and I took full advantage of it.

Things got really, really bad at my home only a few months after I got married. I was consistently cussed out, kicked, pushed, held down, and things were thrown at my head by the bully who I married. It was starting to escalate, and it was then that I started looking for my own apartment. One day, at B's apartment, I was in tears, telling him my fear that no one would ever want a divorcee like me. It was then that he confessed that he loved me.

I. Was. Shocked. I didn't know what to do with that information. Because although, deep down, I absolutely felt the same way, I couldn't process it at the time. I was getting ready to leave my husband of just a few months. I mean, I hadn't gotten my wedding album back from the photographer yet. I was already as confused as a girl could get and now my head was spinning. To make matters worse, my ex had already started telling people that he was certain that I was having affairs with B and/or Steve. The last thing I wanted was for the lies he was telling to become true.



A couple of months later, after attempted (and sorely failed) marriage counseling between my ex and me, B and I were watching a movie at his apartment one night. I could feel the tension between us and my heart started racing. We got closer and closer, daring the other one to give in. We simultaneously moved in and the kiss was electric. I am talking fireworks. Steve walked in from work and we quite literally, flew across the room to opposite chairs, looking everywhere but at each other.

The next week, I told my husband (who was continuing to abuse me) that I was leaving. I moved in with another good (married female) friend of mine. One day, my ex called me at work and told me that while I was gone, he was going to take all of my things and throw them on the lawn. I left work, with a coworker in tow, ignoring the pleas of my police officer brother to wait for a police escort. I cleaned out my apartment in record time, sobbing at what my life had become. That weekend, my ex was out of town. I went to clean the apartment, since I was the sole name on the lease, and found that my ex had absolutely trashed the place in hopes that I would be punished for his actions. B came over and helped me clean the apartment until it was sparkling. I got my entire security deposit refunded!

Although we waited to tell people that we were together, the truth was that nothing could keep us away from each other. I listened to counselors who told me that marrying the man who rescued me was not a good choice. I heard Dr. Phil say that rebound marriages flat out do not work. I smiled when my friends told me to take some time for myself and be single before dating after my marriage. I ignored them all and followed my gut. And today, on our 4th anniversary, I remember again why I am so happy that I did.

Happy Anniversary-Eve to Us!

Today, one of my very favorite bloggy friends, Brittany Ann from Living in the Moment, posted a cute getting-to-know-you questionnaire about her and her hubby. I figured since tomorrow is my and B's anniversary, it was perfect timing! Tomorrow, since it IS Way-Back-Whensday, I'll probably post a little more about us. (I also have a scarf swap post too...looks like tomorrow will be a two-post day!) So I hope you don't get too sick of the B and Gina posts!

♥ What are your middle names? Teresa and Robert. Mine is after my mom's best friend, and his is after his dad.

♥How long have you been together? This one is tricky because it was kind of a weird situation, with me coming out of my first marriage. I'll explain more tomorrow, when we will have been married for four years.

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating? Again, the timing is quite the gray area. But considering he did come to my first wedding (weird, right?) it was probably about two years.

♥ Who asked who out? He confessed his feelings first. Because we were already really good friends, it wasn't your typical asking out.

♥ Who made the first move? We still argue over this. I say he kissed me first, he says I kissed him. Honestly, it was probably one of those made-for-the-movies mutual kiss moments.

♥ How old are each of you? I robbed the cradle a bit. I'll be 32 this year and he'll be 30.

♥ Did you go to the same school? No. We did both go to colleges in Missouri, but they were nowhere near each other.

♥ Are you from the same home town? Very close...our houses growing up were about fifteen minutes apart, but they are technically in different cities.

♥ Who is the smartest? B can figure ANYTHING out. Me, not so much. I might be a little more book-smart, but that's absolutely up for debate.

♥ Who majored in what?I majored in Communication Disorders. He started out in Education, then changed his mind a few times.

♥ Who is the most sensitive? I know this is hard to believe, but I think it's him. Sshhh. Don't tell him I said that.

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple? It's becoming increasingly difficult to eat out with a wild 2 and 1/2 year old in tow. We used to eat at our favorite Italian restaurant where B actually used to work. But it closed, which devastated us. So now, our eating-out is limited to fast food or sub sandwich restaurants.

♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? We went to Jamaica on our honeymoon. And loved, literally, every single second of it. We dream of going back very soon.

♥ Who has the worst temper? Me. And he reminds me of that quite often. I think I've made some progress though.

♥ How many children do you want? Just two. Now that we are trying for Baby #2, we constantly joke about the panic we'd be going through if we got pregnant with twins!!

♥ Who does the cooking? When we cook, it's me, most of the time. He's an awesome cook, though...he used to do it as a career in a few different restaurants. When he does cook, it's such a treat!

♥ Who is more social? No question here...definitely me. He's certainly come out of his shell more, but overall, he's as introverted as I am extroverted.

♥ Who is the neat-freak? He used to be the biggest neat freak I know, but he claims I ruined that because being a neat freak while married to me was futile. Boo.

♥ Who is the most stubborn? He'd say me. I know he would. But I think it's him. I am always willing to give in and move on with life. A few years ago, I'd agree with him that it's me.

♥ Who wakes up earlier? Usually, he does, unless he stays up too late watching episodes of House or random movies. I LOVE to sleep and always pass out before he does.

♥ Where was your first date? We went to see XMen with his brother and his brother's fiancee, and I remember being so nervous because I wasn't technically divorced yet. (Looking forward to tomorrow's post yet?)

♥ Who has the bigger family? Him....both of his parents are one of seven children, and they all have several kids. I still can't keep his dad's family straight.

♥ Do you get flowers often? Not enough! No...he does buy me flowers on the obligatory flower-giving days....Mother's Day, our anniversary, etc. I love flowers, and if it's been too long, I'll just buy them for myself!

♥ How do you spend the holidays? Both of our parents are divorced, so we try to spread the love. Luckily, our parents are usually pretty cool with spreading out the holidays over a few days. They have learned it's that or only seeing us every other year!

♥ Who is more jealous? We both have our jealous moments. I'd say this one is a tie.

♥ How long did it take to get serious? We were serious a lot sooner than we admitted. I'll just say that.

♥ Who eats more? Definitely B. Sometimes I can't get over the portions on his plate, but he is working on that!

♥ What do you do for a living? He works as a loss mitigation specialist (short sale negotiator) for a large company. I am a speech-language therapist at an elementary school.

♥ Who does the laundry? He does. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

♥ Who’s better with the computer? He is. Remember that whole "he can figure anything out" answer? It applies to computers, too.

♥ Who drives when you are together? Almost always him. He claims that I don't pay attention while I drive. Unfocused....me?? Noooo.

♥ What is "your" song? Stand By Me by Ben E. King. We just thought it fit, so we chose it as our wedding dance song.

I'd include a tag, but I want to read everyone's answers! Let me know if you do this!

Namaste!